1. If it's been advertised, let your middle finger rise!
2. If it's all shiny and sparkles in the light don't let a salesperson convince you its right.
3. If you think that if dropped it will fall apart don't buy it, its not smart.
4. If the warranty is not for your entire life, screw it, it will only give you strife.
5. Don't purchase it if it doesn't feed you, clothe you, shelter you, get you paid, or get you laid.
6. If it's cheap and it's not food, buy it and you'll be screwed.
7. If it is made by a corporation, getting you to buy it is like wrong hole fornication.
8. If it has a tank, and you need to fill it with gas, its designed to take your money and kick you in the ass.
9. If it enhances your sense of vanity, leave it and keep your monetary sanity.
10. If it comes in a plastic bottle, run away from it at full throttle.